Day 81: What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is death. Always has been. Having a fear of death really gives you that utter, deep down, painful feeling inside your stomach. At least for myself.

It’s even worse at night as I try to sleep. During the day if I think about it, I can mostly brush it off. But when I am lying in my bed at night the though of death turns my stomach, takes me hours to fall asleep. What if I don’t wake up? Of course people always say, “You’d be dead. You wouldn’t know.” But what if you do/did?

The idea of not existing has haunted me since I could feel fear. Because death makes me feel insignificant (which I know I am) and my existence unimportant (which it probably is) .

Oddly enough, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be dead by the time I’m 50, but it still terrifies me. I’m not proud to admit this, but what I would be willing to do for immortality is quite ruthless. The guilt I would be willing to live forever with is overwhelming. Please don’t think less of me…

I’m not proud to admit this, but what I would be willing to do for immortality is quite ruthless. The guilt I would be willing to live forever with is overwhelming. Please don’t think less of me…

To end this, I fear death is summed up well in this Tyrion Lannister quote.

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Author: CalicoWolf

Mommy👶, Married to MtF Partner💍, MoonChild/Witch🌙, LGBT+-Ally 🌈, 🐺

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